Wayne was working a late shift at the Gas Up because it was his co-worker's birthday. That didn't stop him from telling whoever would listen about how he got "fucked" and had to work late. Wayne hated the late shift because he would rather be out fighting crime. Little did he know what lay in store for him.
The Gas Up wasn't open very late by modern standards. The station closed at 11pm. Wayne also hated the late shift because everyone would make a mad dash for beer between 10:30 and 11. This particular night was pretty slow though. "Oh shit, must be that game that's going on" he said aloud. There was a college basketball game going on and most of the people had probably gone to the game.
It was about 10:47pm and Wayne was sitting on his ass, watching the clock. "God damn it, COME ON" he screamed at the clock. Just then a car pulled into the station. "Mother FUCK" he said as he pulled his feet down from the counter and stood up.
A man in a balaclava walked in the door. "Sweet digs" Wayne said to the man.
"Shut the fuck up and put all the money in a bag" the man replied while simultaneously drawing a gun and pointing it at Wayne.
"Pig fucker" Wayne muttered as he started for the plastic bags. He stopped as an idea came into his head. "I already made the last drop for the night so the drawer is pretty low" he lied to the man.
"I don't care, empty it" he said.
"As luck would have it sir, I am the assistant manager and have keys to the safe in the back" he continued his elaborate ruse, "There is a camera in the back, but none up here. If you let me go back there I can get you a lot more money".
"How do I know you won't pull something?" the man asked.
"Cuz I don't give a fuck about this shithole" Wayne answered, and he wasn't really lying.
"Make it quick" the man said. "You have two minutes"
Wayne nodded and went into the back room. His duffle bag was under the sink, which he grabbed as he passed. He started getting changed into his costume and the man yelled to him "What is taking so long?".
"KEEP YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON" Wayne screamed back while he was removing his own, "I FORGOT THERE IS A TIME DELAY ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT, IF YOU HAVE SOME GOD DAMNED PATIENCE I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU". Wayne pulled on his mask and made for the back door. He walked out the door and climbed the ladder to the roof. He peered through the vent and could see the man pacing back and forth. He kept walking underneath where the industrial A/C unit was. The Manbat concocted a sweet idea.
Wayne moved over to the vent that went into the back room. "Safe is open, I'm loading up the loot now" he said. "Wait by the beef jerky and I'll bring it out and 30 seconds".
"Okay, but you better hurry the fuck up" the man said.
The Manbat scurried across the roof, back over to the vent above the main store. He could see the man in the exact position he indicated. There was a 2x4 holding the old A/C unit up. Wayne's boss had called the repair place several times but they were dragging their feet on coming out to fix it. All he had to do is pull out the 2x4 and the thing would go crashing down on the bad guy.
The dark vigilante was thinking about how fucking awesome this was going to be. "JUSTICE" he screamed as he pulled out the 2x4. The A/C buckled but did not fall. "YOU COCKSUCKER" said the Manbat and without thinking he jumped onto the unit. The weight of him crashing down broke the unit free and both it and the Manbat fell through the roof onto the man below.
Amazingly Wayne was perfectly fine and even managed to land on his feet. "They say the Manbat is a fucking pimp" he said out loud.
"Ooooooh" the man said from beneath the A/C unit. Wayne looked over at him and saw a large pool of blood welling around the man. The source of the blood was a large, ragged hole in the man's torso from which his broken rib-cage could be seen. "Call help, I'm fuckin' dying here" he managed to say.
"Oh so you're about THAT life now?" Wayne asked him. The Manbat picked up the phone and first called the news station, then the police. After he hung up the phone the 2nd time he went in the back and changed back into his regular clothes. When he came back out he put all the money in a plastic bag and set it behind the counter. The cops and the media both arrived on the scene within seconds of each other.
"Jesus Christ" the cop said when he entered the store. "We've got a body".
The cop asked Wayne to tell him what happened. Wayne regaled him with a tall tale about a man in a bat suit that had rescued him. The journalist was jotting things down as Wayne was recounting the story to the officer. Just then Wayne's boss walked through the door. He identified himself and engaged the police in conversation.
Meanwhile, Wayne was being interviewed by the news. They asked him to tell the story of the encounter. He told them everything; how the man came in and demanded money, how he himself put the money in the bag, how the guy was pacing around, how he was about to take him out but a man in a bat suit crashed through the ceiling. "He was amazing, like a warrior of justice and goodness. He was doing karate and he straight up DESTROYED that guy" he said, motioning to the dead robber under the A/C unit.
"Were you scared?" they asked him.
"Shit no, I ain't a bitch" he snapped back.
They wrapped up the night and Wayne's boss spoke with him to ask him some questions about the situation. After the conversation, Wayne went home. He turned on the news to see his interview. He was disappointed that they only used on part of one line from the entire interview.
"He was dressed like a bat" then they cut to another shot of him saying "He was amazing".
Wayne rolled his eyes. "Son of a bitch" he said. He called the news office and asked for the manager. He called him a "stupid cunt" and said "you wouldn't know journalism if it looked like a hamburger and shoved itself up your fat ass". Smugly he hung up the phone and laughed. He was the Manbat.
