Wayne Bruzinski had been doing some research about upgrading his suit. The objective here was to incorporate some bulletproofing into it. He had found a site online that sold a hybrid Ceramic/Kevlar panel that would fit his needs.
A few weeks later he had finally bought enough of the panels to bulletproof the entire chest and abdominal area of his suit. He experimented with several ways to attach it before he settled on the best one. Of course he had to do it himself because no one could know that he is The Manbat.
Once he had it all settled, Bruzinski took the suit out to the middle of the country along with a mannequin torso he had appropriated from a dumpster behind the Dayton Mall. He put the new bulletproof top onto the mannequin and walked about 10 feet away from it. Wayne pulled out his yellow and black Glock and took aim at the dummy. He fired a round into it. Upon inspection he noticed that it had stopped the bullet cold. Bruzinski backed up and emptied the clip into it.
"Shit yeah" he said happily. He pulled the suit top off the mannequin and held it up to inspect it. There were a few scuffs on it, but otherwise it was intact.
"Well now for the real test" he said with determination.
Wayne donned the whole suit and headed out into the field. "Corn this year", he remarked as he found a spot where the vegetable hadn't grown too high yet. He pulled his Glock out of it's utility belt holster and held it up to his chest. "1, 2, ...3" he said and then chickened out on pulling the trigger. The vest could take a shot from a distance, but he had to know that it could take one point blank.
"Don't be a pussy" he said out loud as he slapped himself in the face repeatedly. He pointed the gun at himself as least awkwardly as he could and counted again. "1, 2, ......................3" and he pulled the trigger. Blackness overtook him.
Wayne's body was picked clean by turkey vultures and his bones left undiscovered in the corn field until the harvest. A local farmer found what was left of his body and called police. Upon further inspection it was deduced that the man had accidently shot himself in the head. When Wayne pulled the trigger, he was holding the gun at a weird angle. The bullet skipped right off the ceramic panel and flew up in under his chin, effectively blowing his brains out. The corn grew up around his dead body, hiding it for months.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
The Manbat Commissions a Custom Weapon
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Street Saftey
Manbat (Wayne Bruzinski) scoured the alleyways of Columbus, just waiting for a crime to commence. Wayne practiced his fighting moves, karate chopping the air and occasionally unsuccessfully tried to jump kick the trash cans.Wayne had made it a habit to wear a large hooded sweatshirt over his costume and a pair of break away track pants.
Suddenly from the street the Manbat heard someone yelling for help. He struck out from the alley and looked up and down the street, a man was being chased by another. The man in front crying for help and the other yelling "stop" and "I'll take care of you!"
The Manbat knew it was time to act. He darted into the cross walk pulling his mask over his head. He tripped as he tried to pry his pants off. As he lay on the ground the man crying for help jumped over him followed by his pursuer that ran around the Manbat. Wayne freed himself of his pants and rose to his feet discarding the sweatshirt. The shirt hung up on his mask and Bruzinski ran face first into a telephone pole. Finally he threw the sweater down and felt his face, his tooth was chipped and his nose and mouth were bleeding.Undaunted and without delay Manbat took off at a dead sprint in pursuit of the pair. 'Oh man, this is it, Columbus, feel my justice.' Wayne thought to himself. His PVC cape flowed out behind him as he ran. 'I look so fucking awesome right now!' He grinned his bloody grin as the thought spurred him on. 'These people are gonna love me.'
The Manbat began to gain on the tailing man as he slowed at the corner. "I am the Bat!" Wayne screamed as he dove at his target. The man turned around just in time to see our masked hero flying at him. "What the fuck...." The man managed to gasp as Manbat tackled him into the street.
Just then a large city bus came around the corner and nailed Manbat and his prey, killing both instantly. Onlookers screamed at the grisly scene and the rescue workers showed up accordingly.
The man Wayne had tackled and subsequently killed was a nurse of mental patients. He was on a house call to help a family with their son who was on anti-psychotics. The patient had been refusing for days to take his medication. He had from an early age wanted to kill his father and upon escape was on his way to do just that. Not only did Manbat kill the nurse who was only doing his job, the man off his meds reached his fathers house and assaulted him before authorities were forced to shoot the man. The Manbat Strikes Again!
Suddenly from the street the Manbat heard someone yelling for help. He struck out from the alley and looked up and down the street, a man was being chased by another. The man in front crying for help and the other yelling "stop" and "I'll take care of you!"
The Manbat knew it was time to act. He darted into the cross walk pulling his mask over his head. He tripped as he tried to pry his pants off. As he lay on the ground the man crying for help jumped over him followed by his pursuer that ran around the Manbat. Wayne freed himself of his pants and rose to his feet discarding the sweatshirt. The shirt hung up on his mask and Bruzinski ran face first into a telephone pole. Finally he threw the sweater down and felt his face, his tooth was chipped and his nose and mouth were bleeding.Undaunted and without delay Manbat took off at a dead sprint in pursuit of the pair. 'Oh man, this is it, Columbus, feel my justice.' Wayne thought to himself. His PVC cape flowed out behind him as he ran. 'I look so fucking awesome right now!' He grinned his bloody grin as the thought spurred him on. 'These people are gonna love me.'
The Manbat began to gain on the tailing man as he slowed at the corner. "I am the Bat!" Wayne screamed as he dove at his target. The man turned around just in time to see our masked hero flying at him. "What the fuck...." The man managed to gasp as Manbat tackled him into the street.
Just then a large city bus came around the corner and nailed Manbat and his prey, killing both instantly. Onlookers screamed at the grisly scene and the rescue workers showed up accordingly.
The man Wayne had tackled and subsequently killed was a nurse of mental patients. He was on a house call to help a family with their son who was on anti-psychotics. The patient had been refusing for days to take his medication. He had from an early age wanted to kill his father and upon escape was on his way to do just that. Not only did Manbat kill the nurse who was only doing his job, the man off his meds reached his fathers house and assaulted him before authorities were forced to shoot the man. The Manbat Strikes Again!
Friday, June 28, 2013
Crossbow Capers: Manbat Finally Gets a Grapple Gun
The Manbat Wayne Bruzinski sat at his laptop at the Man cave surfing through videos on U-toob. One in particular was of interest to the would be crime fighter. A local hunter had made many videos involving crossbows. In one video the hunter had attached a steel cable to a bolt and used it to drag a large deer uphill after scoring a killing hit on the beast. "As any good hunter knows: If you hit a deer and it doesn't die from the impact it will run a short while before succumbing to injury. And the path of least resistance will be taken. In example: down hill, every time." The man in the video explained. He went on tell about how he would use the steel cable in such an event as hunting in the hills. It made it easier to bring the large animal back up the hill, using a winch compared to just dragging it by hand.
"Oh snap. I gottta get a cross bow!" Wayne began to search the internet for one when he came across and ad for a gun and knife show. It was three weeks away, giving our hero plenty of time to save up for the weapon. Wayne would use this crossbow and steel cable combo as a means around the grapple gun quandary. Surely if the device could hold a 250 lbs deer it would have no problem letting the Manbat climb buildings or repel down structures. He could only speculate about how awesome it would be to have this, letting him really get the drop on crime.
Weeks later Wayne went to the gun show and found a man selling crossbows. "This beauty here is all you need. Got enough torque to bring down anything you aim at." The man promised.
"How will it penetrate surfaces such as brick or metal?" Wayne asked.
The man looked at Wayne quizzically.
"Uh, I want to know what to use during target practice. So I don't kill my neighbor or loose an arrow." Wayne explained.
"It's called a bolt, jack ass, and this baby will shoot hard enough to penetrate brick and sheet metal. You'd be best served to use a dirt hill as a back drop when target shooting." The greasy man told Wayne.
Bruzinski, with stars in his eyes and a grin he could not hide, forked over his last couple of weeks pay for the crossbow. This wouldn't help him wen rent was due, but he finally got a legit grapple gun. Wayne bought a few bolts with the left over cash and hurried to his car. He threw the crossbow in the back seat on top of his gym bag and dashed off for his training camp.
The training camp was a dilapidated warehouse that had been abandoned for years. Wayne had spent time turning it into a haven where he could hone his skills and work out. He mostly just looked at porn and did push ups, occasionally punching a heavy bag he had hung from an I-beam. Wayne entered the building and got his crossbow out and propped it against the table he used for a work bench. It took Wayne several hours before he could attach the steel cable he had bought weeks prior to the bolts. He took some test shots at the ceiling on the warehouse, using a large square of sheet metal as the target. The bolts came disconnected from the cable every shot so he switched to shooting at the wall until he succeeded.
Finally, the cable held as he fired the bolt and he was overjoyed by the outcome. Wayne would fire the bolt into the ceiling so he could climb up and retrieve the other bolts he had fired. Wayne braced himself and fired the crossbow. His aim held true and the missile lodged into the metal square. He pulled against the steel cable to make sure it wouldn't budge. Feeling good about the anchor strength Wayne jumped up and grasped the cable. He pulled himself up about a foot from the ground and held himself steady. The ceiling groaned and creaked for a moment. Bruzinski's grip slipped and he landed back on his feet.
Wayne figured he needed gloves for the climb and he donned the whole Manbat outfit, he would need to climb in it any way and what better time than training. He went back to the steel cable, this time pushing the work bench over to get a better jump start before he started his climb. He climbed on the table, jumped and grabbed the line. He went hand over hand a few times before he heard a snap and he fell back to the concrete floor. He blew his knees out on impact and sunk to the floor screaming. He lay on his back as the ceiling above him began to buckle. The Manbat, in all his cunning, had fired the bolt into the industrial air conditioning unit. His weight had caused the ceiling to crumble and the clamps holding the 600 lbs unit to snap. The whole thing came down on the Manbat crushing his body as well as his dreams to thwart crime.
Wayne's body was not found for some two years when a bulldozer operator discovered it when the building had been approved for demolition.
"Oh snap. I gottta get a cross bow!" Wayne began to search the internet for one when he came across and ad for a gun and knife show. It was three weeks away, giving our hero plenty of time to save up for the weapon. Wayne would use this crossbow and steel cable combo as a means around the grapple gun quandary. Surely if the device could hold a 250 lbs deer it would have no problem letting the Manbat climb buildings or repel down structures. He could only speculate about how awesome it would be to have this, letting him really get the drop on crime.
Weeks later Wayne went to the gun show and found a man selling crossbows. "This beauty here is all you need. Got enough torque to bring down anything you aim at." The man promised.
"How will it penetrate surfaces such as brick or metal?" Wayne asked.
The man looked at Wayne quizzically.
"Uh, I want to know what to use during target practice. So I don't kill my neighbor or loose an arrow." Wayne explained.
"It's called a bolt, jack ass, and this baby will shoot hard enough to penetrate brick and sheet metal. You'd be best served to use a dirt hill as a back drop when target shooting." The greasy man told Wayne.
Bruzinski, with stars in his eyes and a grin he could not hide, forked over his last couple of weeks pay for the crossbow. This wouldn't help him wen rent was due, but he finally got a legit grapple gun. Wayne bought a few bolts with the left over cash and hurried to his car. He threw the crossbow in the back seat on top of his gym bag and dashed off for his training camp.
The training camp was a dilapidated warehouse that had been abandoned for years. Wayne had spent time turning it into a haven where he could hone his skills and work out. He mostly just looked at porn and did push ups, occasionally punching a heavy bag he had hung from an I-beam. Wayne entered the building and got his crossbow out and propped it against the table he used for a work bench. It took Wayne several hours before he could attach the steel cable he had bought weeks prior to the bolts. He took some test shots at the ceiling on the warehouse, using a large square of sheet metal as the target. The bolts came disconnected from the cable every shot so he switched to shooting at the wall until he succeeded.
Finally, the cable held as he fired the bolt and he was overjoyed by the outcome. Wayne would fire the bolt into the ceiling so he could climb up and retrieve the other bolts he had fired. Wayne braced himself and fired the crossbow. His aim held true and the missile lodged into the metal square. He pulled against the steel cable to make sure it wouldn't budge. Feeling good about the anchor strength Wayne jumped up and grasped the cable. He pulled himself up about a foot from the ground and held himself steady. The ceiling groaned and creaked for a moment. Bruzinski's grip slipped and he landed back on his feet.
Wayne figured he needed gloves for the climb and he donned the whole Manbat outfit, he would need to climb in it any way and what better time than training. He went back to the steel cable, this time pushing the work bench over to get a better jump start before he started his climb. He climbed on the table, jumped and grabbed the line. He went hand over hand a few times before he heard a snap and he fell back to the concrete floor. He blew his knees out on impact and sunk to the floor screaming. He lay on his back as the ceiling above him began to buckle. The Manbat, in all his cunning, had fired the bolt into the industrial air conditioning unit. His weight had caused the ceiling to crumble and the clamps holding the 600 lbs unit to snap. The whole thing came down on the Manbat crushing his body as well as his dreams to thwart crime.
Wayne's body was not found for some two years when a bulldozer operator discovered it when the building had been approved for demolition.
The Manbat Says No To Crack
Wayne Bruzinski sat behind the counter at the Gas Up waiting for the store to close. He hated having to work late because it cut into his Manbat beat. He flipped through a titty magazine his boss kept in the office, "Man that chick gives me a bat stiffy." He said aloud.
After he jerked one out in the bathroom he heard the door bell chime. A shifty looking man entered and strode to the counter. After buying a pack of smokes the man looked at Wayne and says, "You like to party?"
"What kind of party?" Wayne asked, his interest peeked more than the ears on the Manbat suit. He was sweating from his playtime in the bathroom, and he wiped at his face constantly.
"I got some really good crack the other day and I'm trying to sell this shit. You look like a tweeker, so... You wanna party?" The man explained.
Wayne was about to decline but realized this was the perfect chance to take out a scum bag tonight. "Yeah, but you got to meet me here out back a two a.m." He told the man. "I'll buy all the crack you have, I'm absolutely fucking bonkers for crack."
The man agreed to return and Wayne was giddy at the prospect of serving up hot justice, so hot the big boobed bimbo in the magazine paled in comparison. Wayne's shift drew to a close when the phone rang. He answered, it was his boss. He wanted Bruzinski to leave the deposit out so he could drop it in the night box at the bank. Wayne's boss explained he was down at a managers meeting nearby and wanted to drop the deposit off before he went home so he could nurse his hangover in the morning rather than come in to the Gas Up.
"Yeah, I'll leave it next to the back door, on the wire rack under a newspaper. Take it easy boss, I'm gonna lock up and get out of here." Wayne hung up the phone and locked the doors. He dropped the deposit on the wire rack and took his costume out of his gym bag. 'Perfect, I can use the spy hatch on the back door to keep watch for the man, thanks for the call boss.' Wayne thought himself clever and watched out said hatch to wait for the drug dealer.
As he waited Wayne spied the titty magazine once again. He snatched up the book, yanked his vinyl pants down and beat his dick like it tried to sell him crack. Our hero climaxed and the seminal fluid got all over his hands. Before he could find a towel he heard footsteps behind the store. He looked out and saw the crack dealer standing behind the store. Wayne jerked his pants up and looked about for something to strike the drug dealer with. He found a small length of pipe. Brandishing the pipe the Manbat unbolted the door and leaped out screaming, "I AM THE MANBAT, FEEL MY WRAITH!"
"What the fuck.." The man blurted before Wayne cleaned his clock with the pipe. The man hit the ground, out cold from the blow. Wayne bent down and went through the drug dealers pockets. He found a bag of crack, a couple crack pipes and a Brillo pad. He scooped up the contraband and took it inside. As he entered the back door, hands full of crack, his cape snared on the wire rack knocking it and the deposit to the ground. Wayne pulled his cape free and picked up the deposit. Money and crack in hand Wayne took one step in when the office door opened suddenly. It was Wayne's boss. The man took one look at Bruzinski, wearing the Manbat costume and holding the store's deposit in his hands with the back door hanging open.
"Don't move!" Wayne's boss yelled as he pulled a .38 revolver from his jacket.
"No fuck don't.." Was all Wayne said as he held up the pipe he had assaulted the drug dealer with. Wayne's boss fired all six rounds into Wayne and then called the police.
Wayne had died from the bullet wounds on the way to the hospital. The police had reported Wayne Bruzinski was scouring crack at the store, using the deposit money when the deal went bad. The cops had confirmed Wayne sexually assaulted the drug dealer after hitting him with the pipe because of the traces of semen they found on the man's pants and shirt. Wayne's boss did not suffer any charges, evoking the Stand Your Ground clause after seeing Wayne brandishing a pipe with the store's deposit in hand. If Wayne were alive he would have been jailed for armed robbery, assault and rape.
After he jerked one out in the bathroom he heard the door bell chime. A shifty looking man entered and strode to the counter. After buying a pack of smokes the man looked at Wayne and says, "You like to party?"
"What kind of party?" Wayne asked, his interest peeked more than the ears on the Manbat suit. He was sweating from his playtime in the bathroom, and he wiped at his face constantly.
"I got some really good crack the other day and I'm trying to sell this shit. You look like a tweeker, so... You wanna party?" The man explained.
Wayne was about to decline but realized this was the perfect chance to take out a scum bag tonight. "Yeah, but you got to meet me here out back a two a.m." He told the man. "I'll buy all the crack you have, I'm absolutely fucking bonkers for crack."
The man agreed to return and Wayne was giddy at the prospect of serving up hot justice, so hot the big boobed bimbo in the magazine paled in comparison. Wayne's shift drew to a close when the phone rang. He answered, it was his boss. He wanted Bruzinski to leave the deposit out so he could drop it in the night box at the bank. Wayne's boss explained he was down at a managers meeting nearby and wanted to drop the deposit off before he went home so he could nurse his hangover in the morning rather than come in to the Gas Up.
"Yeah, I'll leave it next to the back door, on the wire rack under a newspaper. Take it easy boss, I'm gonna lock up and get out of here." Wayne hung up the phone and locked the doors. He dropped the deposit on the wire rack and took his costume out of his gym bag. 'Perfect, I can use the spy hatch on the back door to keep watch for the man, thanks for the call boss.' Wayne thought himself clever and watched out said hatch to wait for the drug dealer.
As he waited Wayne spied the titty magazine once again. He snatched up the book, yanked his vinyl pants down and beat his dick like it tried to sell him crack. Our hero climaxed and the seminal fluid got all over his hands. Before he could find a towel he heard footsteps behind the store. He looked out and saw the crack dealer standing behind the store. Wayne jerked his pants up and looked about for something to strike the drug dealer with. He found a small length of pipe. Brandishing the pipe the Manbat unbolted the door and leaped out screaming, "I AM THE MANBAT, FEEL MY WRAITH!"
"What the fuck.." The man blurted before Wayne cleaned his clock with the pipe. The man hit the ground, out cold from the blow. Wayne bent down and went through the drug dealers pockets. He found a bag of crack, a couple crack pipes and a Brillo pad. He scooped up the contraband and took it inside. As he entered the back door, hands full of crack, his cape snared on the wire rack knocking it and the deposit to the ground. Wayne pulled his cape free and picked up the deposit. Money and crack in hand Wayne took one step in when the office door opened suddenly. It was Wayne's boss. The man took one look at Bruzinski, wearing the Manbat costume and holding the store's deposit in his hands with the back door hanging open.
"Don't move!" Wayne's boss yelled as he pulled a .38 revolver from his jacket.
"No fuck don't.." Was all Wayne said as he held up the pipe he had assaulted the drug dealer with. Wayne's boss fired all six rounds into Wayne and then called the police.
Wayne had died from the bullet wounds on the way to the hospital. The police had reported Wayne Bruzinski was scouring crack at the store, using the deposit money when the deal went bad. The cops had confirmed Wayne sexually assaulted the drug dealer after hitting him with the pipe because of the traces of semen they found on the man's pants and shirt. Wayne's boss did not suffer any charges, evoking the Stand Your Ground clause after seeing Wayne brandishing a pipe with the store's deposit in hand. If Wayne were alive he would have been jailed for armed robbery, assault and rape.
Find The Manbat On Facebook
There is a blog page on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/themanbatwaynebruzinski and also you can straight look up Wayne Bruzinski on Facebook and friend him! You'll know you have the right guy when you see the sweet batman suit!
Like and friend us today and stay abreast of all the Manbat happenings. Thanks everyone for making this fun to do!
Like and friend us today and stay abreast of all the Manbat happenings. Thanks everyone for making this fun to do!
Thursday, June 27, 2013
The Manbat Saves The Day
Wayne Bruzinski was driving his LTD down a local highway when he noticed a car pulled off to the side of the road. He slowed down enough to take a look at the person changing the flat tire and noticed that it was a very attractive woman. What kind of superhero would he be if he didn't help this woman fix her car?
His car came to a stop about 30 feet from where the woman's car was parked. After licking his fingers and smoothing down his eyebrows, Bruzinski made his way to the woman. "Bruzinski, Wayne Bruzinski" he said. The woman grunted as she wrestled with the 4 way lug wrench. "Hi, I'm Gina" she replied, never taking her eyes off of her work. "I could tighten those for you" Wayne said. Gina then looked up at him. "Thanks" she said as she stood up and brushed herself off.
She was a decently attractive woman close up, but not originally as hot as Bruzinski thought. Her build was average and she sported muffin tops and a flat butt. That didn't stop Wayne though, he was going to be her hero. He tightened down the last bolt and let the car down off of the jack, which he then placed into her trunk along with the rest of the tools she had used.
"I can't offer you any money" Gina said to him. Wayne rolled his eyes and replied "That's okay, money isn't what I'm interested in". She looked at him hesitantly. "We could go to dinner sometime" he suggested. "Okay" she agreed. After a short conversation, the two parted ways.
Wayne spent the next 2 days feverishly masturbating in anticipation of his dinner date with Gina. A million scenarios played through his head, all ending in him getting laid. His date was still a couple days away but he just couldn't wait that long. He had to see her.
A thought jumped into Wayne's mind. He remembered when he watched The Green Lantern movie and Green Lantern had saved a woman then flew up to her window and hung out with her. "Fuck yeah" he said to himself as he picked up his keys and headed to his car.
He drove to Gina's house, parking about 3 houses down and hoofing it to her house. He spotted an open tool shed in her neighbor's yard and ducked in to change into his superhero costume. "She's going to be so fucking impressed" he whispered as he pulled his suit on. He noticed that the suit was tighter that usual. That as probably due to the fact that he'd left it in car the entire last week. When he was done here he knew he would have to do some alterations. He made a mental note not to leave the suit in his car anymore.
After changing he walked up to her house. "God damn" he thought to himself as he noticed the crotch of his costume was really tight. He headed back to the tool shed and took the pants off. After which he removed his underwear and stuffed them into a watering can in the shed, pulled the pants back on, and went about his business.
He was standing in Gina's backyard eyeing the only lit window in the whole house. "Paydirt" he silently mouthed. As he stood there he wondered how he was going to get on the roof so he could knock on her window. He decided in his mind that he would knock on the window and she would open it, pull him in, and make love to him. He remembered seeing a ladder next to the tool shed in the neighbor's yard.
After retrieving the ladder and propping it against the house, Wayne made his way quickly to the roof. All the scenarios were playing in his head again. As he stepped off the ladder it fell down into the yard. Wayne didn't care because he'd likely spend the night with Gina anyway so he wouldn't need it. Making his way to the window, he realized he had an erection.
He was just outside the window. The only way he'd be able to see in is if he crouched. Upon doing so the crotch split on his costume and his genitals flopped out. He was still rock hard and started trying to tuck his penis back into his costume when he elbowed the window. Gina jumped off the bed, grabbing a flashlight as she went, and shined it out the window. She gasped as she noticed a masked man in a crotchless vinyl suit with his dick in his hand was looking into her window.
"OH GOD DAMNIT" Wayne cursed. He ran around the side of the window, further up the roof. Gina promptly called the police and all he could do is wait because the ladder fell down. He thought of explaining himself but when he went back to the window she was no longer in the bedroom. Wayne tested the window to see if it was unlocked, but it was not.
When the police arrived Bruzinski was arrested for indecent exposure and aggravated menacing. Gina didn't even find out that it was Wayne until the day of the trial. He was found guilty on all charges and was sentenced to 2 years in jail, and had to register as a sex offender. When the judge asked Wayne if he had anything to say for himself, he nodded. He looked at Gina and said "Would you still like to go to dinner"?
His car came to a stop about 30 feet from where the woman's car was parked. After licking his fingers and smoothing down his eyebrows, Bruzinski made his way to the woman. "Bruzinski, Wayne Bruzinski" he said. The woman grunted as she wrestled with the 4 way lug wrench. "Hi, I'm Gina" she replied, never taking her eyes off of her work. "I could tighten those for you" Wayne said. Gina then looked up at him. "Thanks" she said as she stood up and brushed herself off.
She was a decently attractive woman close up, but not originally as hot as Bruzinski thought. Her build was average and she sported muffin tops and a flat butt. That didn't stop Wayne though, he was going to be her hero. He tightened down the last bolt and let the car down off of the jack, which he then placed into her trunk along with the rest of the tools she had used.
"I can't offer you any money" Gina said to him. Wayne rolled his eyes and replied "That's okay, money isn't what I'm interested in". She looked at him hesitantly. "We could go to dinner sometime" he suggested. "Okay" she agreed. After a short conversation, the two parted ways.
Wayne spent the next 2 days feverishly masturbating in anticipation of his dinner date with Gina. A million scenarios played through his head, all ending in him getting laid. His date was still a couple days away but he just couldn't wait that long. He had to see her.
A thought jumped into Wayne's mind. He remembered when he watched The Green Lantern movie and Green Lantern had saved a woman then flew up to her window and hung out with her. "Fuck yeah" he said to himself as he picked up his keys and headed to his car.
He drove to Gina's house, parking about 3 houses down and hoofing it to her house. He spotted an open tool shed in her neighbor's yard and ducked in to change into his superhero costume. "She's going to be so fucking impressed" he whispered as he pulled his suit on. He noticed that the suit was tighter that usual. That as probably due to the fact that he'd left it in car the entire last week. When he was done here he knew he would have to do some alterations. He made a mental note not to leave the suit in his car anymore.
After changing he walked up to her house. "God damn" he thought to himself as he noticed the crotch of his costume was really tight. He headed back to the tool shed and took the pants off. After which he removed his underwear and stuffed them into a watering can in the shed, pulled the pants back on, and went about his business.
He was standing in Gina's backyard eyeing the only lit window in the whole house. "Paydirt" he silently mouthed. As he stood there he wondered how he was going to get on the roof so he could knock on her window. He decided in his mind that he would knock on the window and she would open it, pull him in, and make love to him. He remembered seeing a ladder next to the tool shed in the neighbor's yard.
After retrieving the ladder and propping it against the house, Wayne made his way quickly to the roof. All the scenarios were playing in his head again. As he stepped off the ladder it fell down into the yard. Wayne didn't care because he'd likely spend the night with Gina anyway so he wouldn't need it. Making his way to the window, he realized he had an erection.
He was just outside the window. The only way he'd be able to see in is if he crouched. Upon doing so the crotch split on his costume and his genitals flopped out. He was still rock hard and started trying to tuck his penis back into his costume when he elbowed the window. Gina jumped off the bed, grabbing a flashlight as she went, and shined it out the window. She gasped as she noticed a masked man in a crotchless vinyl suit with his dick in his hand was looking into her window.
"OH GOD DAMNIT" Wayne cursed. He ran around the side of the window, further up the roof. Gina promptly called the police and all he could do is wait because the ladder fell down. He thought of explaining himself but when he went back to the window she was no longer in the bedroom. Wayne tested the window to see if it was unlocked, but it was not.
When the police arrived Bruzinski was arrested for indecent exposure and aggravated menacing. Gina didn't even find out that it was Wayne until the day of the trial. He was found guilty on all charges and was sentenced to 2 years in jail, and had to register as a sex offender. When the judge asked Wayne if he had anything to say for himself, he nodded. He looked at Gina and said "Would you still like to go to dinner"?
The Manbat Fights For Animal Rights
At home Wayne Bruzinski watched the evening news, taking special note of a story about underground dog fighting rings that had been popping up in Waynesville and Orgonia. He listened as the reporter confirmed police were still looking for the individuals involved.
'Man, I gotta look into that shit.' Wayne thought as he went out to his car. He climbed in, throwing his gym bag in the back seat among the half eaten boxes of crackers, empty spray cheese cans and 64 ounce soda cups. Wayne was friends with a guy whose uncle had spent time in prison for dog fights. His name was Kenny and Bruzinski spent no time going to his house.
Upon arrival Wayne knocked on the door and told Kenny about how he was doing a report on ex-cons. He asked about Kenny's uncle and he got an address for the man. The Manbat went back to his LTD and grabbed his phone to use the GPS. After fighting with the damn thing for a few minutes he got the route and took off. He had to drive out to Corwin to find Kenny's uncle Bob at a small run down shack on the out skirts of town.
Wayne parked a few blocks away from the house and donned his Manbat suit before stealthily making his way to his target. He approached the house from behind and went to an open window ready to kick the screen out to gain entrance. Before he entered a truck pulled up out front and blasted the horn. He heard a man's voice yell from the front, something about being ready in a few minutes.
Our hero ran back to his car and pulled around to the street in time to see Kenny's uncle climb in the truck. The vehicle pulled away and Wayne followed it a little way until it parked at an old farmhouse. Wayne passed by the truck as the two men got out. He parked some ways away and doubled back on foot to the house. The lights were on inside and many voices could be heard from the street, sounded like quite a few people had drawn together.
The Manbat stalked around the house looking for any clues of dog fights when he noticed the large barn out back. 'That warrants a peek." He mused. Wayne stole his way to the barn and looked through one of the windows. Inside he could see dogs upon dogs upon dogs. "This has got to be it," He said. "Let's see how they like it when I let there little profits run free."
Bruzinski Walked to the large double doors of the barn and lifted the wooden cross beam. Before he jerked the door open he pulled a pack of fire crackers he kept in his belt, lit them and threw them on the back porch of the house. The heroic Manbat pulled the doors open as the explosives went off. People rushed from the back door into the yard to investigate the noise.
Behind the door of the barn Wayne yelled, "Dinner time mother fuckers, assholes on the menu!" The dogs poured from the barn running for the crowd on the back porch. Wayne heard screaming mixed with growls and barking. It was chaos and the Manbat stepped out from behind the door to view his handy work. To his surprise and horror, he realized the crowd was made up of not just men, but women and elderly as well. The dogs tore into the throng, ripping people apart. Wayne didn't know what to do so he went in the barn and pulled the door shut behind him. He sat crying as he listened to the massacre outside. Suddenly gunshots ripped through the air followed by police sirens. Wayne fell to his knees sobbing.
When the police finally showed up three people had been killed, many more wounded. At the house was a birthday party for a local sheriff, the officer was one of the men killed. The police found Wayne hiding in the barn and he was arrested for three counts manslaughter, as well as trespassing and theft from a local business. The man who owned the house had made a living retraining dogs taken from fighting rings. The dogs in his barn had just been rounded up and he hadn't started training them yet. Ten dogs were put down that night. Five more had escaped to terrorize the surrounding community before being captured and euthanized. Wayne was tried for murder and found guilty of killing a police officer. His death sentence was pushed through faster then any on record.
It's worth noting that Wayne had not even found or followed Kenny's uncle. He put in the wrong street name when using his GPS. The man he followed was a minister, who lost three fingers during the attack. His brother was the judge.
'Man, I gotta look into that shit.' Wayne thought as he went out to his car. He climbed in, throwing his gym bag in the back seat among the half eaten boxes of crackers, empty spray cheese cans and 64 ounce soda cups. Wayne was friends with a guy whose uncle had spent time in prison for dog fights. His name was Kenny and Bruzinski spent no time going to his house.
Upon arrival Wayne knocked on the door and told Kenny about how he was doing a report on ex-cons. He asked about Kenny's uncle and he got an address for the man. The Manbat went back to his LTD and grabbed his phone to use the GPS. After fighting with the damn thing for a few minutes he got the route and took off. He had to drive out to Corwin to find Kenny's uncle Bob at a small run down shack on the out skirts of town.
Wayne parked a few blocks away from the house and donned his Manbat suit before stealthily making his way to his target. He approached the house from behind and went to an open window ready to kick the screen out to gain entrance. Before he entered a truck pulled up out front and blasted the horn. He heard a man's voice yell from the front, something about being ready in a few minutes.
Our hero ran back to his car and pulled around to the street in time to see Kenny's uncle climb in the truck. The vehicle pulled away and Wayne followed it a little way until it parked at an old farmhouse. Wayne passed by the truck as the two men got out. He parked some ways away and doubled back on foot to the house. The lights were on inside and many voices could be heard from the street, sounded like quite a few people had drawn together.
The Manbat stalked around the house looking for any clues of dog fights when he noticed the large barn out back. 'That warrants a peek." He mused. Wayne stole his way to the barn and looked through one of the windows. Inside he could see dogs upon dogs upon dogs. "This has got to be it," He said. "Let's see how they like it when I let there little profits run free."
Bruzinski Walked to the large double doors of the barn and lifted the wooden cross beam. Before he jerked the door open he pulled a pack of fire crackers he kept in his belt, lit them and threw them on the back porch of the house. The heroic Manbat pulled the doors open as the explosives went off. People rushed from the back door into the yard to investigate the noise.
Behind the door of the barn Wayne yelled, "Dinner time mother fuckers, assholes on the menu!" The dogs poured from the barn running for the crowd on the back porch. Wayne heard screaming mixed with growls and barking. It was chaos and the Manbat stepped out from behind the door to view his handy work. To his surprise and horror, he realized the crowd was made up of not just men, but women and elderly as well. The dogs tore into the throng, ripping people apart. Wayne didn't know what to do so he went in the barn and pulled the door shut behind him. He sat crying as he listened to the massacre outside. Suddenly gunshots ripped through the air followed by police sirens. Wayne fell to his knees sobbing.
When the police finally showed up three people had been killed, many more wounded. At the house was a birthday party for a local sheriff, the officer was one of the men killed. The police found Wayne hiding in the barn and he was arrested for three counts manslaughter, as well as trespassing and theft from a local business. The man who owned the house had made a living retraining dogs taken from fighting rings. The dogs in his barn had just been rounded up and he hadn't started training them yet. Ten dogs were put down that night. Five more had escaped to terrorize the surrounding community before being captured and euthanized. Wayne was tried for murder and found guilty of killing a police officer. His death sentence was pushed through faster then any on record.
It's worth noting that Wayne had not even found or followed Kenny's uncle. He put in the wrong street name when using his GPS. The man he followed was a minister, who lost three fingers during the attack. His brother was the judge.
The Manbat: Leave The Roof Jumping to Neo
Wayne had been preparing for weeks at the long jump behind the local high school, jumping farther and farther everyday. Soon it was second nature to sprint somewhat erratically before launching himself through the air and landing in the safety sand some five or six feet away. He never landed on his feet, but he didn't give a shit he was a hero and he would be god damned if a sore ass would stop him from bounding between roof tops like a boss.
The next day The Manbat went to the shifty, dirty warehouse he called his training ground and climbed to the roof. He was determined to jump from the top of it to the adjacent building. He had measured the distance, seven feet, nearly a foot longer than his best jump. But, this roof was taller than the other building by at least ten inches so he figured he would clear it easily. Wayne stuffed himself inside the Manbat suit and readied himself for the jump. He noticed the pants were constrictive but fuck it, he would run faster and jump harder, those damn perps wouldn't get away by roof top while he was on the case.
Bruzinski ran back and forth on the roof getting a feel for his speed before his great leap to the other structure. "Alright, no more horsing around, time to cowboy up!" He said aloud and he returned to the far side of the building. Wayne took off at a dead sprint, moving closer and closer to the ledge. As he approached he lifted a foot to vault from the lip but the restrictive vinyl pants stopped him short. His shin slammed painfully on the wall and it flipped him straight down in the alley, pitching face first into the wall, scrapping his face as he fell. He landed between a dumpster and the building splitting his head open and killing him almost instantly.
Wayne's body was not found for a month when a homeless man had wondered by and took a piss behind the dumpsters, rubbing salt in the glaring wound of Wayne Bruzinski's idiotic death.
The next day The Manbat went to the shifty, dirty warehouse he called his training ground and climbed to the roof. He was determined to jump from the top of it to the adjacent building. He had measured the distance, seven feet, nearly a foot longer than his best jump. But, this roof was taller than the other building by at least ten inches so he figured he would clear it easily. Wayne stuffed himself inside the Manbat suit and readied himself for the jump. He noticed the pants were constrictive but fuck it, he would run faster and jump harder, those damn perps wouldn't get away by roof top while he was on the case.
Bruzinski ran back and forth on the roof getting a feel for his speed before his great leap to the other structure. "Alright, no more horsing around, time to cowboy up!" He said aloud and he returned to the far side of the building. Wayne took off at a dead sprint, moving closer and closer to the ledge. As he approached he lifted a foot to vault from the lip but the restrictive vinyl pants stopped him short. His shin slammed painfully on the wall and it flipped him straight down in the alley, pitching face first into the wall, scrapping his face as he fell. He landed between a dumpster and the building splitting his head open and killing him almost instantly.
Wayne's body was not found for a month when a homeless man had wondered by and took a piss behind the dumpsters, rubbing salt in the glaring wound of Wayne Bruzinski's idiotic death.
The Manbat Takes On Drug Dealers
"The man was able to break out of handcuffs with superhuman strength".
"OH SHIT" Wayne shouted, falling out of his chair. He stood up quickly and composed himself. With newspaper in hand, he walked to the back room. When he got to the office, he slipped the newspaper into his duffle bag and walked back to the front counter.
A couple hours later a friend of his came into the store. Wayne raced out the front door and looked around. Satisfied, he came back in the store and locked the doors behind him.
"Larry, do you know where I can get some PCP?" he asked his friend. Larry chuckled and replied, "What the hell do you want with PCP?". Bruzinski made up a story about how he read an article and didn't know what PCP was or where one could get it from. Larry told him that his cousin ran with a guy in Columbus the sold PCP. Wayne lied and said he wanted to interview the guy for a project he was working on. So Larry gave him the address. The Manbat would hunt tonight, with super powers.
After Wayne got off work he went to the ATM and withdrew $200. He threw is duffle bag into the back seat of his LTD and headed off to find this Charles character to score some PCP. Like most things Wayne involves himself in, he didn't research anything about the drug. He just knew it made people exhibit superhuman strength and that was good enough for him.
An hour and twenty five minutes later, Bruzinski reached the address. He walked into the lobby of the apartment complex and ascended a stair to the second floor. As he knocked on the door he couldn't keep the smile from his face. PCP was going to be the ace in his hole. It would allow him to reach a whole new level in crime fighting.
"Who the fuck is it?" the voice on the other side of the door asked. "My name is Wayne, I want to buy some PCP" Wayne shouted through the door. The door swung open quickly and a large black man grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him inside, pinning him up against the wall next to the door.
"Why you shoutin' that shit all up in here" asked a thin, athletic man. Wayne answered "I'm looking for some PCP, I've got $200 dollars". The man smiled and said "Why didn't you just say so in the first place?". The man introduced himself as Charles and motioned for Wayne to follow him into the kitchen. They passed about a dozen guys playing video games, talking on cellphones, and drinking some beer on the way. "Skinny white boy like you don't be lookin' like you'd be into the dust" Charles said. Wayne laughed out loud and said "You'd be surprised what kind of shit I'm into".
"Well man I can sell you this much for $200" the man said swinging a little bag in the air as he spoke. Wayne smiled and handed over the money. "Now what do I do, snort this shit?" he asked Charles. "Nah nigga, you wet it up and make a dippie" he answered. "Here I do it" he offered. "Just smoke one-a deez every 10 hours and you be flying" the man said, but Wayne was too far lost in his own fantasy to hear him.
A few minutes later Wayne was walking out with a whole pack of cigarettes that had been dipped in PCP. He walked between the apartment complex and the building next to it and changed into his vinyl costume. He pulled a brick of aluminum foil out of the plastic bag Charles had given him. Upon opening it, he grabbed 4 of the drug infused cigarettes. After putting the rest away and securing them in his belt pouch, he lit the cigarettes and held 2 in each hand. He smoked them as fast as he could. "I needs me spinach" he thought to himself as he chiefed them down.
Not more than a couple moments later the drugs started to take hold. "Now I just need to find a crime" Wayne said out loud. Then it hit him. He could just go bust the drug dealers in the apartment he just came from. The Manbat smiled as the vein in his forehead throbbed.
He raced up the stairs and when he got to Charles apartment door he stopped and started jumping up and down, slapping himself in the face. "This is it" he said to himself. Then as if possessed, he screamed "JUSTICE" and kicked the door so hard that it not only opened, but flew off the hinges.
Wayne rushed into the apartment and clotheslined the first guy he saw. The man flipped over backwards and landed smack dab in the middle of a card table, blasting it to the ground. Another man charged towards him. The Manbat saw him coming in what appeared to be slow motion. He cocked his fist back and threw a punch. He hit the man in the face with so much force that he broke the man's jaw in half.
Bruzinski spun around in time to see the man that snatched him up at his first visit to the apartment. That guy must have weighed 350lbs. Wayne punched him in the stomach, doubling the man over. The Manbat stood him straight up, put his hands around his throat, and picked the large man up, choke slamming him to the floor and breaking his neck.
Whirling about and sending his cape into a spin, Wayne search for his next target. On a table not 2 feet away he saw a 40oz bottle of beer. He grabbed it and threw it at a man running towards the kitchen. It hit him squarely in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. Wayne dove headfirst into the kitchen after him.
Rolling to his feet, he was met by a man holding a gun. The man fired the gun and hit Bruzinski right in the shoulder. Feeling no pain, Wayne swung an uppercut toward the guy, catching him in the throat and crushing his windpipe under the weight of the blow. The dealer collapsed to the floor gurgling and choking on his own blood.
"YOU" Wayne screamed gutturally as he pointed at Charles. The drug dealer stood there and a wet spot formed in the front of his pants as he stared at The Manbat. Bruzinski took a step towards the man and stopped. He tried to take a deep breath but found he could hardly breath. His chest started to tighten and his vision darkened. Wayne collapsed to the floor right then and there. Charles changed out of his pissed pants and fled the scene.
The next day the Coroner was examining Wayne's body. He took some blood and sent it to the lab for a substance analysis. The cause of death was ruled a heart attack, but the Coroner would have to wait for the blood work to come back to draw further conclusions.
A month later the tox report came back and showed that Bruzinski had taken 2 and a half times the lethal dose of PCP. The official Coroner's report said cause of death was a heart attack and respiratory failure due to an overdose of Phencyclidine (PCP).
Who's That Manbat In The Window?
It was late as Wayne left the Gas Stop to go home and scan the airways for crime. He had made it a habit to carry his Manbat suit in the back seat of his car when the occasional late shift was thrown his way. On the way home Wayne noticed a man standing in the alley next to a small convenience store. The man paced back and forth, looking up and down the street nervously. Never missing a chance at action Bruzinski turned the next corner, killed the engine and grabbed the gym bag with his suit inside from the back seat. He ran between a couple buildings and quickly squeezed himself into the vinyl suit and headed back toward the store.
As he came around the corner the man in the alley was approaching the building while pulling a bandanna over his mouth and nose. The Manbat sped his pace while viewing the thug pull a gun on the young clerk inside. He stopped and crouched behind a newspaper box while he thought of a game plan.
"I'll go through the door and fuck this dude up." Wayne whispered aloud to no one. Then he looked at the large display window next to the counter where the robber stood. "Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong!" Bruzinski exclaimed as he back peddled into the street and took off at a sprint for the window. He would jump through the window, knock the man over, save the day and maybe, just maybe, the girl behind the counter would fuck his brains out for his heroics.
Gaining speed Wayne dove headlong into the window, smashing it open successfully. Wayne, however, forgot glass is sharp and felt a thousand points of pain as his body hit the floor and rolled raggedly to the robbers feet.
At this point the gunman and the clerk both looked down at this crazy man (wearing a bat costume) with confusion and shock. Wayne Bruzinski rolled to his back and screamed, awarding a view to the startled people of his eyes pierced with glass. Blood ran from his mouth, which now looked more like the tassels off a cheap rug than the lips of a man. Wayne's bloody hands reached for the gunman as he tried to scream for help. The gunman shrugged, pumped a round into Wayne's chest, took up his bag of cash and laughed as he walked out the door...
As he came around the corner the man in the alley was approaching the building while pulling a bandanna over his mouth and nose. The Manbat sped his pace while viewing the thug pull a gun on the young clerk inside. He stopped and crouched behind a newspaper box while he thought of a game plan.
"I'll go through the door and fuck this dude up." Wayne whispered aloud to no one. Then he looked at the large display window next to the counter where the robber stood. "Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong!" Bruzinski exclaimed as he back peddled into the street and took off at a sprint for the window. He would jump through the window, knock the man over, save the day and maybe, just maybe, the girl behind the counter would fuck his brains out for his heroics.
Gaining speed Wayne dove headlong into the window, smashing it open successfully. Wayne, however, forgot glass is sharp and felt a thousand points of pain as his body hit the floor and rolled raggedly to the robbers feet.
At this point the gunman and the clerk both looked down at this crazy man (wearing a bat costume) with confusion and shock. Wayne Bruzinski rolled to his back and screamed, awarding a view to the startled people of his eyes pierced with glass. Blood ran from his mouth, which now looked more like the tassels off a cheap rug than the lips of a man. Wayne's bloody hands reached for the gunman as he tried to scream for help. The gunman shrugged, pumped a round into Wayne's chest, took up his bag of cash and laughed as he walked out the door...
Doggone Cape(rs)
Meanwhile at the Mancave, AKA, a shitty studio apartment...
Wayne had been following a lead on a rash of break-ins at local junkyards and had a payoff one night when he realized the burglars were moving from east to west hitting all locations on the way. The Manbat grabbed his keys from the Batmug and bolted out to his LTD to drive to his nearby junkyard.
After three nights of watching the yard his patience proved fruitful. He witnessed three men in ski masks scale the fence and move to the small building that housed the managers office and garage. "Time to take out the junk." Wayne whispered as he tip-toed to the fence.
Looking up he noticed the eight foot high fence was crowned by barbed wire. He figured it wouldn't be a problem after seeing three men pass over with little difficulty. Wayne slapped his cape behind him and started to ascend the chain links. He slipped a few times and decided to take off his combat boots to gain better traction. He climbed to the top and carefully planted his feet between the barbs. He miss placed his foothold and he felt a sharp pain in his ankle.
"AAH FUCK" he yelled as he fell off the fence into the junk yard. Before he hit he the ground, he stopped as his PVC cape tightened around his throat. Looking up The Manbat saw his cape had become hopelessly entangled in the barbed wire, leaving the Manbat hanging two feet from the ground. The boots he took off slipped from his shoulder and landed on a trash can stirring up quite the racket in the yard. Suddenly from nowhere he heard terrifying growling and could only uselessly flail his arms as three large Bull Mastiffs came hauling balls from deep within the piles of defunct automobiles.
The dogs were on Wayne fast and started biting his feet and tearing the vinyl from his legs. The Manbat, in a matter of moments was reduced from would-be hero to puppy chow. His screams alerted the burglars and they managed to slip away as the dogs feasted on the bat flavored pinata.
When Wayne Bruzinski's body was fond his legs were missing from the knees down. The authorities blamed the junkyard thefts on Bruzinski and felt he got what was coming to him. All the dogs were deemed heroes and their owner was damn proud of it.
Wayne had been following a lead on a rash of break-ins at local junkyards and had a payoff one night when he realized the burglars were moving from east to west hitting all locations on the way. The Manbat grabbed his keys from the Batmug and bolted out to his LTD to drive to his nearby junkyard.
After three nights of watching the yard his patience proved fruitful. He witnessed three men in ski masks scale the fence and move to the small building that housed the managers office and garage. "Time to take out the junk." Wayne whispered as he tip-toed to the fence.
Looking up he noticed the eight foot high fence was crowned by barbed wire. He figured it wouldn't be a problem after seeing three men pass over with little difficulty. Wayne slapped his cape behind him and started to ascend the chain links. He slipped a few times and decided to take off his combat boots to gain better traction. He climbed to the top and carefully planted his feet between the barbs. He miss placed his foothold and he felt a sharp pain in his ankle.
"AAH FUCK" he yelled as he fell off the fence into the junk yard. Before he hit he the ground, he stopped as his PVC cape tightened around his throat. Looking up The Manbat saw his cape had become hopelessly entangled in the barbed wire, leaving the Manbat hanging two feet from the ground. The boots he took off slipped from his shoulder and landed on a trash can stirring up quite the racket in the yard. Suddenly from nowhere he heard terrifying growling and could only uselessly flail his arms as three large Bull Mastiffs came hauling balls from deep within the piles of defunct automobiles.
The dogs were on Wayne fast and started biting his feet and tearing the vinyl from his legs. The Manbat, in a matter of moments was reduced from would-be hero to puppy chow. His screams alerted the burglars and they managed to slip away as the dogs feasted on the bat flavored pinata.
When Wayne Bruzinski's body was fond his legs were missing from the knees down. The authorities blamed the junkyard thefts on Bruzinski and felt he got what was coming to him. All the dogs were deemed heroes and their owner was damn proud of it.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
The Manbat Vs Bank Robbers
It was a hot mid-August Friday. Wayne had just gotten off work and was driving to the Mancave for the weekend. It was getting dark out. His scanner picked up a bank robbery in progress not far from his current location. "Lets do this" he exclaimed out loud as he programmed his GPS with the address of the bank. He was about 3 minutes from the location.
His nose was running, which was pretty much normal for this time of the year. After searching through his glove compartment he found 2 Benadryl tablets. He washed them down with some piss warm water from a bottle that he found rolling around the floor of the Manbatmobile LTD 2.0.
Wayne recently purchased a Glock 9mm pistol from some redneck off of craigslist. He made a special holster for it on his utility belt. It hung right next to his grappling hook. Like most things Wayne bought to use for fighting crime, he had to customize it and make it all sweet. He carefully hand painted all the trim yellow so it would match the yellow and black of his suit.
When he bought the paint to detail it with he accidently bought reflective paint. He didn't realize it until he got home and he was too lazy to take it back and exchange it for normal paint. So he just painted the gun.
As he rolled up to the bank he noticed there were no lights on. This was some serious shit, these guys had cut the power to the building! That was okay because the night belonged to The Manbat! He would be totally in his element.
Whirling the grappling hook at his side (he still hadn't made a grappling hook gun yet), he judged this throw. Bingo. First time, and with little noise. Wayne began to scale the building. He started thinking about how awesome this bust was going to be. When he got to the roof he had to calm himself so he could focus on getting into the building.
Just out of sheer dumb luck the roof access door had been left unlocked. After changing into his suit on the roof, The Manbat strolled right in and made hardly a sound in the new ninja boots he had acquired from a shop at the mall. They were expensive, but price was no object when procuring sweet gear. He had them on layaway for like 3 months and had picked them up just this week. This was his first actual mission in them. They felt like a second skin!
Wayne started down the hall with his Glock drawn. He walked out into a hallway that was a balcony around the main bank. By his account he was on the 3rd floor. He could see the men with flashlights below him. They had some hostages. "Too bad the fucking grappling hook is on the roof" he mumbled under his breath.
Then he got a great idea.
"Prepare to die scum" Wayne yelled as he jumped from the 3rd floor railing. He had the ends of his cape grasped in both hands to act as a parachute on his way down. It didn't slow his decent at all. The Manbat crashed to the floor with enough force to instantly break his ankle. He luckily rolled forward as he landed and came up next to a pillar, favoring his right leg.
While he was thinking of his next move and silently (as he could) cursed himself for such a stupid idea, he drew his gun and held it up, pointed at the ceiling, next to his head. The bad guys were sweeping the room with their flashlights. That was okay though because he was dressed in black, they wouldn't see him even if they shined the light directly on him.
Except for the fact that his gun was detailed with reflective paint, so he stuck out like a sore thumb.
Forgetting momentarily about the broken ankle (thanks Benadryl) he took a step towards the guy holding the flashlight on him. Immediately he buckled from the broken ankle. The shock of the pain made him reflexively pull the trigger of his Glock, which missed the robber completely and struck a bank teller in the throat.
Wayne tried to stagger step to keep his balance and ran face first into the bank counter, knocking his front teeth out.
There he was, lying on the floor with a broken ankle and no front teeth. The lead robber walked up and kicked the gun out of his hand. He said something to Wayne, but what Wayne could not discern through the pain and the Benadryl haze. The last thing he felt was a cold cylinder pressing against his forehead.
The paper the next day had an article about the robbery. The suspects were never caught, except for one; a strange man wearing a bat costume. There was an interview in the article with the policeman that was on the scene and he described it as "bizarre" and "disturbing". They found the gun that was used to shoot and kill the bank teller, a black and yellow Glock, but they were unsure why the bat robber was laying dead with a bullet to the forehead, no front teeth, and a broken ankle.
One of the bank tellers was interviewed and said that he thought the "guy in the bat costume was trying to save us". Psychiatric doctors said the man was suffering from PTSD from the ordeal and he was manufacturing the whole thing in his head. The cops said that the bat robber was likely the leader and was killed so the rest of the group could have a bigger share of the loot.
The last line of the interview with the police officer said the following; "If this (bat) guy was trying to be a hero, he failed miserably".
His nose was running, which was pretty much normal for this time of the year. After searching through his glove compartment he found 2 Benadryl tablets. He washed them down with some piss warm water from a bottle that he found rolling around the floor of the Manbatmobile LTD 2.0.
Wayne recently purchased a Glock 9mm pistol from some redneck off of craigslist. He made a special holster for it on his utility belt. It hung right next to his grappling hook. Like most things Wayne bought to use for fighting crime, he had to customize it and make it all sweet. He carefully hand painted all the trim yellow so it would match the yellow and black of his suit.
When he bought the paint to detail it with he accidently bought reflective paint. He didn't realize it until he got home and he was too lazy to take it back and exchange it for normal paint. So he just painted the gun.
As he rolled up to the bank he noticed there were no lights on. This was some serious shit, these guys had cut the power to the building! That was okay because the night belonged to The Manbat! He would be totally in his element.
Whirling the grappling hook at his side (he still hadn't made a grappling hook gun yet), he judged this throw. Bingo. First time, and with little noise. Wayne began to scale the building. He started thinking about how awesome this bust was going to be. When he got to the roof he had to calm himself so he could focus on getting into the building.
Just out of sheer dumb luck the roof access door had been left unlocked. After changing into his suit on the roof, The Manbat strolled right in and made hardly a sound in the new ninja boots he had acquired from a shop at the mall. They were expensive, but price was no object when procuring sweet gear. He had them on layaway for like 3 months and had picked them up just this week. This was his first actual mission in them. They felt like a second skin!
Wayne started down the hall with his Glock drawn. He walked out into a hallway that was a balcony around the main bank. By his account he was on the 3rd floor. He could see the men with flashlights below him. They had some hostages. "Too bad the fucking grappling hook is on the roof" he mumbled under his breath.
Then he got a great idea.
"Prepare to die scum" Wayne yelled as he jumped from the 3rd floor railing. He had the ends of his cape grasped in both hands to act as a parachute on his way down. It didn't slow his decent at all. The Manbat crashed to the floor with enough force to instantly break his ankle. He luckily rolled forward as he landed and came up next to a pillar, favoring his right leg.
While he was thinking of his next move and silently (as he could) cursed himself for such a stupid idea, he drew his gun and held it up, pointed at the ceiling, next to his head. The bad guys were sweeping the room with their flashlights. That was okay though because he was dressed in black, they wouldn't see him even if they shined the light directly on him.
Except for the fact that his gun was detailed with reflective paint, so he stuck out like a sore thumb.
Forgetting momentarily about the broken ankle (thanks Benadryl) he took a step towards the guy holding the flashlight on him. Immediately he buckled from the broken ankle. The shock of the pain made him reflexively pull the trigger of his Glock, which missed the robber completely and struck a bank teller in the throat.
Wayne tried to stagger step to keep his balance and ran face first into the bank counter, knocking his front teeth out.
There he was, lying on the floor with a broken ankle and no front teeth. The lead robber walked up and kicked the gun out of his hand. He said something to Wayne, but what Wayne could not discern through the pain and the Benadryl haze. The last thing he felt was a cold cylinder pressing against his forehead.
The paper the next day had an article about the robbery. The suspects were never caught, except for one; a strange man wearing a bat costume. There was an interview in the article with the policeman that was on the scene and he described it as "bizarre" and "disturbing". They found the gun that was used to shoot and kill the bank teller, a black and yellow Glock, but they were unsure why the bat robber was laying dead with a bullet to the forehead, no front teeth, and a broken ankle.
One of the bank tellers was interviewed and said that he thought the "guy in the bat costume was trying to save us". Psychiatric doctors said the man was suffering from PTSD from the ordeal and he was manufacturing the whole thing in his head. The cops said that the bat robber was likely the leader and was killed so the rest of the group could have a bigger share of the loot.
The last line of the interview with the police officer said the following; "If this (bat) guy was trying to be a hero, he failed miserably".
The Manbat Cleans Up The Park
Wayne Bruzinski sat at home on a Wednesday evening listening to the police scanner. There had been a few reports of robberies happening in a park in Columbus. This was the 3rd report this week, so Wayne grabbed his keys and the duffle bag containing his suit and new smoke pellets.
He found a recipe on the internet to make some smoke pellets to aid him in vanishing when he needed to. Earlier in the week he had made a batch and had a blast practicing with them at the training camp. He used them all up so he had to make more. There were a few ingredients that he didn't have on hand so he had to improvise on the second batch. They weren't that much different so he was sure they would work.
Bruzinski pulled up to the park and proceeded to find a spot to stake out to watch for a robbery. After changing into his vinyl suit in the bushes, he stayed there for some time. About an hour later he saw a man in a black mask walking towards a couple sitting on a bench.
Wayne dashed across the dirt path and into the tree line on the other side. Step by step he made his way closer to the masked man and the couple. When he was about 20 feet away he saw the masked man pull out a gun and demand money from the couple.
"Oh shit it's on" Wayne said to himself as he dove into the path and rolled to his feet. He dove harder than he anticipated and came up with his back to the robber. "BLAM BLAM" came the report from the robber's gun. Wayne was hit in the shoulder with one shot and the other missed completely.
Purely on instinct, he grabbed for his belt pouch that contained the smoke pellets. Grabbing a handful of them, Bruzinski slammed them to the ground. A huge puff of smoke erupted from the impact point and smoke instantly enveloped him.
Wayne took a deep breath and started to run for the bushes. Acrid smoke filled his lungs and instantly swelled his eyes and throat shut. He died at the scene of asphyxiation. The smoke pellets he made contained a dangerous chemical cocktail that can kill a person with a small dose, and he'd inhaled enough to kill a rhino.
To make matters worse, the robber escaped with the couple's wallet and purse, pushing them into the smoke to disorient them while he made his escape. The woman also died at the scene and the man has suffered brain damage from lack of oxygen to the brain from the little bit of smoke he inhaled as he rushed through the cloud, stumbling on Wayne's dead body and rolling out the other side.
Police believe the case to be shut and that Wayne was the masked robber they had been looking for.
He found a recipe on the internet to make some smoke pellets to aid him in vanishing when he needed to. Earlier in the week he had made a batch and had a blast practicing with them at the training camp. He used them all up so he had to make more. There were a few ingredients that he didn't have on hand so he had to improvise on the second batch. They weren't that much different so he was sure they would work.
Bruzinski pulled up to the park and proceeded to find a spot to stake out to watch for a robbery. After changing into his vinyl suit in the bushes, he stayed there for some time. About an hour later he saw a man in a black mask walking towards a couple sitting on a bench.
Wayne dashed across the dirt path and into the tree line on the other side. Step by step he made his way closer to the masked man and the couple. When he was about 20 feet away he saw the masked man pull out a gun and demand money from the couple.
"Oh shit it's on" Wayne said to himself as he dove into the path and rolled to his feet. He dove harder than he anticipated and came up with his back to the robber. "BLAM BLAM" came the report from the robber's gun. Wayne was hit in the shoulder with one shot and the other missed completely.
Purely on instinct, he grabbed for his belt pouch that contained the smoke pellets. Grabbing a handful of them, Bruzinski slammed them to the ground. A huge puff of smoke erupted from the impact point and smoke instantly enveloped him.
Wayne took a deep breath and started to run for the bushes. Acrid smoke filled his lungs and instantly swelled his eyes and throat shut. He died at the scene of asphyxiation. The smoke pellets he made contained a dangerous chemical cocktail that can kill a person with a small dose, and he'd inhaled enough to kill a rhino.
To make matters worse, the robber escaped with the couple's wallet and purse, pushing them into the smoke to disorient them while he made his escape. The woman also died at the scene and the man has suffered brain damage from lack of oxygen to the brain from the little bit of smoke he inhaled as he rushed through the cloud, stumbling on Wayne's dead body and rolling out the other side.
Police believe the case to be shut and that Wayne was the masked robber they had been looking for.
The Manbat Responds To A SWAT Call
Wayne was at the Mancave on a Saturday night when he heard a call for the Columbus SWAT team to be deployed to an area just outside Jeffersonville. "Well shit I could make it there before the SWAT team" he thought to himself. He grabbed his keys from the bat logo mug and headed out.
He put the address into his GPS and proceeded to the scene. He dropped by the Gas Up to get the .45 caliber handgun that his boss kept on top of the safe. "I'll just bring this back before anyone notices" he said to himself as he was changing into his new vinyl suit behind the dumpster out back of the store. The ass of the suit was riding him something fierce but he didn't let that dampen his determination.
As he drove to the scene he played all kinds of different heroic scenarios through his head. The radio was cranking "Highway To the Danger Zone". He knew that this was his chance to shine. Damn it to hell, he was getting an erection thinking about it.
He turned off the headlights, killed the radio, and put the car in neutral, shutting down the engine as he pulled up to the address. When the car came to a stop he jumped out and headed for the house. It wasn't until he was at the front door that he noticed he never put the car in park and it was rolling down the hill towards a playground. "Motherfucker" he muttered under his breath. There was no time for that now, he had to be the hero he was born to be.
Wayne put his ear up to the front door. He couldn't hear anything going on inside so he crept around to the rear of the house. While on the move he pulled out the .45, cocked it, and cycled the safety off.
"1, 2, ...3" he counted off in his head and then kicked the back door as hard as he could. When that didn't do the trick he kicked it again. The door stood true. Bruzinski took about 4 steps back and charged at the door, shouldering it open and face planting into the kitchen. When he stood up he was met by a man holding a shotgun. Wayne didn't hesitate, drawing up the .45 and firing at the man's head. The man dropped to the floor, dead from the gunshot wound.
"DAAAAAAADDY" someone screamed as Wayne dove under the kitchen table. Then he heard a woman's voice say "everyone out the front door, the police are here".
Wayne stood up and started for the back door. When he walked through it he saw 4 SWAT officers with MP5 submachine guns. They opened fire on him, shooting him 77 times including 3 shots to the groin, 5 to the face, and a whole slew into the arms, legs, and chest. Wayne was pronounced dead at the scene.
The Columbus news paper headline the next day read "Man In Bat Suit Terrorizes Family, Killed By SWAT Team". The man that was killed at the house was a husband and father of 2 girls. He was a teacher at a local high school. The unfortunate truth of this whole thing is that one of his students was mad at him and decided to "SWAT" him. The prank was just supposed to inconvenience the teacher by having to explain to the SWAT team that there was no incident, but just a misunderstanding.
Wayne took the call and showed up prior to the SWAT team getting there. The man with the gun was just the father trying to protect his family when he heard someone kicking in his back door.
On top of the father being killed, a local vagrant was killed in an area park by a runaway black LTD. To add insult to injury the owner of the Gas Up was killed in a robbery the same night when he was held up and went for his .45 on top of the safe, which wasn't there.
Riding Hot: Vinyl's Not Just For Music Anymore
Wayne had found a fair share of vinyl trench coats and pants at a local thrift store one evening and decided his outfit needed to become legit. After purchasing said materials the Manbat stopped by a costume shop and acquired a ninja suit pattern to get started on his awesome new costume.
After some tedious fabric cutting and pin pricking his fingers, Wayne was finished with his new costume. He fashioned the mask with plastic bat ears he had cut from an old prop mask he found in the closet. Donning his new suit he found the ass rode up on him and his nuts were being squeezed shitless, on top of severely hindered movement.
Not to be dismayed of the fit of his costume he decided it was time to take the recently purchased police LTD he bought at auction for a ride. He had painted the car black and stuck bat symbols all over the hood and doors. "I'm gonna look totally badass!" Wayne exclaimed as he piled in the old squad car. He had fitted the door hollows with phone books, having to remove all the lock components and window mechanisms to make the fit. The phone books, he had heard, would make the car more bullet resistant. Also after removing the guts of the doors he replaced all the windows with security glass hoping that would provide protection as well.
The Manbat (wearing roughly eight pounds of the vinyl and a heavy cape made of a black PVC shower curtain he took from his mothers house) was perspiring before he even pulled the car from his driveway. He drove to the interstate and pulled off to the shoulder to flip on the old police scanner he had bought.
"A record breaking 103 degrees in Jeffersonville and surrounding cities..." Wayne flipped the radio off as a call came over the scanner. This was it, a man was holding his wife and child hostage at an apartment in Dayton and authorities were yet to know if the man was armed or not. This was it. He would go save the day and everyone would know that there was a new law in town, a terror that would thwart crime where ever it rears it's ugly head.
Wayne peeled out as he streaked onto the highway, doing eighty easy as he raced to the rescue. As he drove the car was becoming beyond sweltering hot, sweat poured into his eyes and he yanked the mask off so he could maintain visibility. This didn't help as his vision blurred and his throat turned to sand. After a few more minutes Wayne decided he would find a way to let him roll the windows down or maybe even recharge the AC. This minor set back, he decided, would not daunt him from his mission.
Roughly halfway there Wayne no longer felt hot and his sweating had diminished drastically. He stomped the gas as the car lurched onto an over pass. Suddenly Wayne blacked out.
Later on we would learn that Wayne's car was found on the side of the road, destroyed after launching from the overpass. Police have reported the man had passed out from heat stroke and was killed by massive head trauma due to the wreck. No one knows why the fuck he was dressed in a bat costume or where the hell he was going.
After some tedious fabric cutting and pin pricking his fingers, Wayne was finished with his new costume. He fashioned the mask with plastic bat ears he had cut from an old prop mask he found in the closet. Donning his new suit he found the ass rode up on him and his nuts were being squeezed shitless, on top of severely hindered movement.
Not to be dismayed of the fit of his costume he decided it was time to take the recently purchased police LTD he bought at auction for a ride. He had painted the car black and stuck bat symbols all over the hood and doors. "I'm gonna look totally badass!" Wayne exclaimed as he piled in the old squad car. He had fitted the door hollows with phone books, having to remove all the lock components and window mechanisms to make the fit. The phone books, he had heard, would make the car more bullet resistant. Also after removing the guts of the doors he replaced all the windows with security glass hoping that would provide protection as well.
The Manbat (wearing roughly eight pounds of the vinyl and a heavy cape made of a black PVC shower curtain he took from his mothers house) was perspiring before he even pulled the car from his driveway. He drove to the interstate and pulled off to the shoulder to flip on the old police scanner he had bought.
"A record breaking 103 degrees in Jeffersonville and surrounding cities..." Wayne flipped the radio off as a call came over the scanner. This was it, a man was holding his wife and child hostage at an apartment in Dayton and authorities were yet to know if the man was armed or not. This was it. He would go save the day and everyone would know that there was a new law in town, a terror that would thwart crime where ever it rears it's ugly head.
Wayne peeled out as he streaked onto the highway, doing eighty easy as he raced to the rescue. As he drove the car was becoming beyond sweltering hot, sweat poured into his eyes and he yanked the mask off so he could maintain visibility. This didn't help as his vision blurred and his throat turned to sand. After a few more minutes Wayne decided he would find a way to let him roll the windows down or maybe even recharge the AC. This minor set back, he decided, would not daunt him from his mission.
Roughly halfway there Wayne no longer felt hot and his sweating had diminished drastically. He stomped the gas as the car lurched onto an over pass. Suddenly Wayne blacked out.
Later on we would learn that Wayne's car was found on the side of the road, destroyed after launching from the overpass. Police have reported the man had passed out from heat stroke and was killed by massive head trauma due to the wreck. No one knows why the fuck he was dressed in a bat costume or where the hell he was going.
The Manbat Pimps His Suit
Wayne was sitting at the computer designing a logo to use for his costume. Here's what he came up with.
He absolutely couldn't wait until payday so he could get all the things that he needed to screen print this onto his costume. He saw an ad online for an old screen printing setup and the price was right. His plan was to get the screen printing machine and take it to his training camp.
Payday finally came and Wayne withdrew the $135 dollars and left to meet up with the man selling the equipment. When he got there he paid the man and put the device into the back of the Manbatmobile. He drove back to the training camp and unloaded it. While he was unloading it he realized that there was a sharp edge on one of the arms. He decided that he would file it off, but he was so excited about printing on his costume he decided that the filing would have to wait until tomorrow.
He got his costume shirt secured into the press. The screen had been set to display the bat image that he found on an internet image search. When Wayne went to apply the ink, he fumbled the container and spilled the bright yellow ink all over the place. It was all over the press, all over the shirt, and all over the floor. He slammed his hand down in frustration on the press and sent yellow ink into his eyes.
Blindly turning to get a towel, he bumped the arm of the press and sent it spinning around. At the same time he slipped on the puddle of ink on the floor and fell to his knees. The arm of the press spun around and the sharp edge came slashing across the side of his neck, severing his jugular vein. With a sickening gurgle, he fell face first onto the floor where he blindly flailed around looking for his cellphone. He bled out in a matter of minutes. His body was not found for 6 weeks.
He absolutely couldn't wait until payday so he could get all the things that he needed to screen print this onto his costume. He saw an ad online for an old screen printing setup and the price was right. His plan was to get the screen printing machine and take it to his training camp.
Payday finally came and Wayne withdrew the $135 dollars and left to meet up with the man selling the equipment. When he got there he paid the man and put the device into the back of the Manbatmobile. He drove back to the training camp and unloaded it. While he was unloading it he realized that there was a sharp edge on one of the arms. He decided that he would file it off, but he was so excited about printing on his costume he decided that the filing would have to wait until tomorrow.
He got his costume shirt secured into the press. The screen had been set to display the bat image that he found on an internet image search. When Wayne went to apply the ink, he fumbled the container and spilled the bright yellow ink all over the place. It was all over the press, all over the shirt, and all over the floor. He slammed his hand down in frustration on the press and sent yellow ink into his eyes.
Blindly turning to get a towel, he bumped the arm of the press and sent it spinning around. At the same time he slipped on the puddle of ink on the floor and fell to his knees. The arm of the press spun around and the sharp edge came slashing across the side of his neck, severing his jugular vein. With a sickening gurgle, he fell face first onto the floor where he blindly flailed around looking for his cellphone. He bled out in a matter of minutes. His body was not found for 6 weeks.
The Manbat Tests a Grappling Hook
Wayne had a great idea for helping him fight crime. He would build a grappling hook gun. The plans were already dancing around in his head but he didn't have the money to get all the parts he would need. So he decided he would just start with the grappling hook itself.
After a short phone conversation he went to see his friend Jason. Jason was a welder by trade, so Wayne knew that he could get a quality hook from him. He explained to Jason the idea behind the design of the hook and gave him the supplies. Jason instructed him to come back in 2 days to get the new grappling hook. They agreed that Wayne would pay him in candy for services rendered.
2 days later Wayne arrived at Jason's garage with a large bag of peanut butter filled chocolate candies. Jason handed him a box that contained his new grappling hook. Wayne opened the box and squealed with delight. It looked amazing and he couldn't wait to try it out. He shook Jason's hand and left promptly.
Wayne went to an abandoned warehouse (which he called his training camp) on the outskirts of town. There was a large pole and Wayne decided that it would be his perfect first test. He fastened a black nylon rope to the hook. The rope was stolen off of the side of a truck in a restaurant parking lot a few days earlier. Wayne looked at it as a lesser crime for the greater good.
He swung the hook slowly around with his right hand to get used to the weight of it. Once he felt comfortable, he tried to hook it to the metal connections on top of the pole. The first attempt missed. Wayne swung it a few more times and let it go, sending it sailing up to the top of the pole where it fastened true to the metal connector. He pulled it tight to test the strength of the hook. It was on solid. He let go of the rope and put on his tactical gloves.
Once the gloves were on he walked up to the base of the pole and took up the rope in both hands. He gave it a brisk tug just to test it once more. Satisfied with the security of the hook, he began to climb the pole. Hand over hand he went, straining because he'd never climbed vertically and didn't realize how difficult it would be.
He was about halfway up the pole when the metal connector snapped. He yelled "AHH FUCK" and he fell about 15 feet to the ground. He landed on his shoulder and face, breaking his jaw, clavicle, and humerus. Wayne lay there in excruciating pain for about 3 seconds until the high voltage wire that was attached to the metal connector he had grappled fell on him and electrocuted him to death. His body was not found for 3 days.
After a short phone conversation he went to see his friend Jason. Jason was a welder by trade, so Wayne knew that he could get a quality hook from him. He explained to Jason the idea behind the design of the hook and gave him the supplies. Jason instructed him to come back in 2 days to get the new grappling hook. They agreed that Wayne would pay him in candy for services rendered.
2 days later Wayne arrived at Jason's garage with a large bag of peanut butter filled chocolate candies. Jason handed him a box that contained his new grappling hook. Wayne opened the box and squealed with delight. It looked amazing and he couldn't wait to try it out. He shook Jason's hand and left promptly.
Wayne went to an abandoned warehouse (which he called his training camp) on the outskirts of town. There was a large pole and Wayne decided that it would be his perfect first test. He fastened a black nylon rope to the hook. The rope was stolen off of the side of a truck in a restaurant parking lot a few days earlier. Wayne looked at it as a lesser crime for the greater good.
He swung the hook slowly around with his right hand to get used to the weight of it. Once he felt comfortable, he tried to hook it to the metal connections on top of the pole. The first attempt missed. Wayne swung it a few more times and let it go, sending it sailing up to the top of the pole where it fastened true to the metal connector. He pulled it tight to test the strength of the hook. It was on solid. He let go of the rope and put on his tactical gloves.
Once the gloves were on he walked up to the base of the pole and took up the rope in both hands. He gave it a brisk tug just to test it once more. Satisfied with the security of the hook, he began to climb the pole. Hand over hand he went, straining because he'd never climbed vertically and didn't realize how difficult it would be.
He was about halfway up the pole when the metal connector snapped. He yelled "AHH FUCK" and he fell about 15 feet to the ground. He landed on his shoulder and face, breaking his jaw, clavicle, and humerus. Wayne lay there in excruciating pain for about 3 seconds until the high voltage wire that was attached to the metal connector he had grappled fell on him and electrocuted him to death. His body was not found for 3 days.
The Manbat Gets a GPS
Wayne Bruzinski was installing a smartphone mount in the Manbatmobile. Why he never thought to use his smartphone as a GPS before was beyond him. He was having a conversation at Gas Up, the gas station he worked at, with a regular customer when he was enlightened to the GPS app.
Now that the mount was installed, Wayne headed back inside to listen to the police scanner. First he listened to the Columbus band, followed by the Dayton band. Nothing really good on either one. With a sigh he flipped to the Chillicothe band and sure enough there was a domestic dispute going down. He pulled out a pen and jotted down the address, changed into his costume which he had made out of a pair of girls yoga pants (plus size), a long sleeve compression shirt, a pair of combat boots, and a ski mask with a coat hanger inside it bent up to make bat ears. The left ear was larger and skewed strangely compared to the right side but he didn't care. He worked on that god damned thing for hours and never could get it right so he settled for close. But it really wasn't even close.
He grabbed his keys out of his bat logo mug that was on a shelf by the door and headed out to the car. After futzing with the ignition for 2 and a half minutes he was on his way. "Now to put the address into the GPS" he said to himself as he brought up the voice prompt so he could speak the address into it. "129 7th Street" he said. The phone beeped and displayed a message that said "No Data Connection Available". He pressed the microphone icon again and repeated the address. Same thing, no data connection.
Aggravated but not defeated, he pressed the icon again and spoke the address. Once again he was met by the no data message. He looked at the service indicator and noticed that he didn't have an active 3G or 4G connection. After rolling down the window, Wayne held the cellphone out the window for a few seconds. When he brought it back in he noticed that the 3G symbol had popped up indicating that he had a 3G data connection. He launched the GPS app and hit the mic icon and spoke the address when prompted. Again he was met with the no data message and the 3G indicator had disappeared.
He was so frustrated at this point that he hit the mic icon and screamed into the phone "129 7th FUCKING STR-", and that was it. He was paying so much attention to the cellphone that he didn't realize he had run a red light. His car slammed into a minivan, killing him and a family of 6 on their way home from a birthday party at a pizza place.
Now that the mount was installed, Wayne headed back inside to listen to the police scanner. First he listened to the Columbus band, followed by the Dayton band. Nothing really good on either one. With a sigh he flipped to the Chillicothe band and sure enough there was a domestic dispute going down. He pulled out a pen and jotted down the address, changed into his costume which he had made out of a pair of girls yoga pants (plus size), a long sleeve compression shirt, a pair of combat boots, and a ski mask with a coat hanger inside it bent up to make bat ears. The left ear was larger and skewed strangely compared to the right side but he didn't care. He worked on that god damned thing for hours and never could get it right so he settled for close. But it really wasn't even close.
He grabbed his keys out of his bat logo mug that was on a shelf by the door and headed out to the car. After futzing with the ignition for 2 and a half minutes he was on his way. "Now to put the address into the GPS" he said to himself as he brought up the voice prompt so he could speak the address into it. "129 7th Street" he said. The phone beeped and displayed a message that said "No Data Connection Available". He pressed the microphone icon again and repeated the address. Same thing, no data connection.
Aggravated but not defeated, he pressed the icon again and spoke the address. Once again he was met by the no data message. He looked at the service indicator and noticed that he didn't have an active 3G or 4G connection. After rolling down the window, Wayne held the cellphone out the window for a few seconds. When he brought it back in he noticed that the 3G symbol had popped up indicating that he had a 3G data connection. He launched the GPS app and hit the mic icon and spoke the address when prompted. Again he was met with the no data message and the 3G indicator had disappeared.
He was so frustrated at this point that he hit the mic icon and screamed into the phone "129 7th FUCKING STR-", and that was it. He was paying so much attention to the cellphone that he didn't realize he had run a red light. His car slammed into a minivan, killing him and a family of 6 on their way home from a birthday party at a pizza place.
Introduction to The Manbat
This blog is going to be a collection of stories told by my brother and I about a fictional 23 year old guy named Wayne Bruzinski who tries to emulate a well known superhero. The problem with Wayne is that things never quite go as planned, much like a real person trying to be a superhero would.
Wayne lives in Chillicothe, Ohio. He presides over both Dayton and Columbus, as well as the outlying areas. He works at a fictional local mom and pop gas station called "Gas Up" for little more than minimum wage. Wayne works first shift, Monday through Friday and has every weekend off. He lives in a studio apartment, though he recently has started to rent another studio apartment in Jeffersonville, Ohio that he stays at on the weekends and refers to as the "Mancave".
He spends his weekday evenings listening to a base unit police radio scanner (which is very static filled when listening to Columbus or Dayton) waiting to hear if there is trouble in Dayton, Columbus, or Chillicothe. When he picks up a call, he jumps in the Manbatmobile (a 1997 Ford Escort Wagon) and responds.
Wayne doesn't have much money, but he's very innovative and improvisational. He makes all of his own implements to the best of his ability from what he has available. We will learn more of said implements as the stories develop.
I feel that I have to say that Wayne will pretty much be dying in every single story. This is not supposed to be realistic at all, we're just writing funny stories about the things that could go very wrong when you put yourself in these kinds of situations.
Suspend your belief and don't drink any milk while you are reading these stories.
Without further adieu I present to you, The Manbat!
Wayne lives in Chillicothe, Ohio. He presides over both Dayton and Columbus, as well as the outlying areas. He works at a fictional local mom and pop gas station called "Gas Up" for little more than minimum wage. Wayne works first shift, Monday through Friday and has every weekend off. He lives in a studio apartment, though he recently has started to rent another studio apartment in Jeffersonville, Ohio that he stays at on the weekends and refers to as the "Mancave".
He spends his weekday evenings listening to a base unit police radio scanner (which is very static filled when listening to Columbus or Dayton) waiting to hear if there is trouble in Dayton, Columbus, or Chillicothe. When he picks up a call, he jumps in the Manbatmobile (a 1997 Ford Escort Wagon) and responds.
Wayne doesn't have much money, but he's very innovative and improvisational. He makes all of his own implements to the best of his ability from what he has available. We will learn more of said implements as the stories develop.
I feel that I have to say that Wayne will pretty much be dying in every single story. This is not supposed to be realistic at all, we're just writing funny stories about the things that could go very wrong when you put yourself in these kinds of situations.
Suspend your belief and don't drink any milk while you are reading these stories.
Without further adieu I present to you, The Manbat!
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