The Manbat 'Roid Rages

The Manbat Wayne Bruzinski had taken up going to the gym after being beaten by a group of men. The men were graffiti tagging the side of a building and when our hero intervened he got his ass handed to him. Wayne figured he needed to build muscle before he could fight crime the right way.

At the gym Wayne looked for a trainer to help him achieve the type of figure he wanted. The Manbat wanted muscles so big criminals would shit their pants when confronted by him. All the trainers he met demanded an absorbent amount of money and Wayne could not foot the bill.

"Hey buddy, come here." A man said to Wayne.

Wayne walked over to the man. "You wanna get ripped quick? I got some pills that will help and a training program that will have you punching dudes head's off in a month."

This is what Bruzinski wanted to hear. "Yeah, sounds good. What are the pills?" He asked.

"Just a vitamin cocktail with amino acids." The man lied, it was really steroids. The man also set him up with a work out regimen that was guaranteed to build muscles fast. "Take one of those pills every day and you will be ripped big time."

Wayne started right away. Things went slow at first and then he was able to lift more and more weight. In weeks he was beginning to build muscle and the worst attitude ever. He found himself screaming at traffic more and more each day and getting in arguments with costumers at his job. Also just recently a new tenant in his building had started taking his parking place. Wayne had knocked and asked the man to move. The man called him a pussy and slammed the door in his face. This went on every time Wayne came home from work or the gym and the man would not move his car. This did nothing to help with his mood.

Today he was at work and an old woman stood at the counter wanting to play lottery.

"Fill out a card." Wayne told her.

"Can't you just punch the numbers in for me..." She started to say.

"I'll punch your fucking head in if you don't fill out a god damned fucking card! You stupid old whore!" He screamed at her so loud the air pressure in the store changed. "Are you to old to fill in a few little bubbles?"

The woman stared at Wayne with tears in he eyes. "Why are you looking at me like a monkey doing a math problem?" Wayne spat.

The woman rushed from the store and Wayne started to laugh. "Dumb mother fuckers. I hate all these people." He sat back on the counter and flipped through a magazine.

His boss came inside suddenly with a scowl on his face, "Did you yell at that woman?" He asked.

"No Rodney," Wayne explained, "I fucking screamed at her louder than your bitch wife does when I give her the long dong in her butt hole!"

Wayne's boss Rodney grabbed Wayne by his collar and jerked him over the counter and snapped him in a headlock. He drug Wayne to the door and shoved him out. "You're fired and if I see you again I'll beat your fucking guts out and that's a Waynesville guarantee!" His boss shouted.

Wayne stood up and cocked his fist, stepping toward the man. His boss punched him in the eye and Wayne fell on his ass. His boss turned around and went inside locking the door behind him. Wayne brushed himself off and got in his car. He went home for the day to find his parking place taken again. He went upstairs and knocked on the man's door. The man didn't answer.

"Move your fucking car!" Our hero yelled.

"Go fuck yourself!" Came the muffled reply from behind the door.

Wayne turned around and stormed to his apartment and went inside. "I'll show this choad smack what happens when you fuck with the Manbat!" He crossed to his closet and scooped up a crowbar. He tried to wrestle into his Manbat costume but it wouldn't fit because of his new found muscle mass. Wayne dug out his yoga pants and compression shirt. He donned the old outfit and went outside with crowbar in hand. Wayne moved to the man's car and smashed a headlight out.

"This is what happens when you fuck with the Manbat!" He screamed every time he struck the car. He smashed out the driver window and walked to the hood. He held the crowbar above his head and rammed it into the hood penetrating it a little. Feeling empowered he slammed the crowbar over and over into the front end.

"See what happens when you fuck the Manbat in the ass!" He cried.

Suddenly the car's owner burst out into the street with a shotgun in his hands. "Stop you fucking lunatic!" He said as he pointed the gun at Wayne.

The Manbat wasted no time and threw the crowbar at the man. It struck him in the neck and the man crumpled to the ground, dropping the shotgun. "Can't believe that worked." Wayne murmured under his breath. He strode over to the man and kicked him flat to the ground and grabbed the gun. He walked over to the car and pumped rounds into the front tire and the passenger window. 'Nice hair trigger." Wayne thought. He moved to the driver side door and flipped the shotgun around in his hands holding it by the barrel. It burnt his hands somewhat but he was to blood crazed to care.

He lifted the gun over his head like a club and screamed, "This is what happens when you fuck the Manbat in the ass!" He brought the gun down on the windshield and it fired into his chest, leaving a bloody hole were once the Manbat symbol was adorned.

Paramedics and police arrived at the scene and rushed Wayne off to the morgue. The man he had hit with the crowbar had suffered a collapsed windpipe but recovered in the hospital. It was deemed that Wayne Bruzinski was an abuser of steroids and had raged out from constant use. The Manbat strikes... Whatever...